i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
