the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
