so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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