She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
