You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
