Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
