Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
