Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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