I'm lost and stupid without you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
