I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
