im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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