I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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