Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
handjob tips. give me some.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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