3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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