I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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