Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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