The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
