Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
