She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
