put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
