I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
