bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
