at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
