fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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