I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
