My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize