i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
