pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
