I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
