His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
