Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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