a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
