All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
