who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
