i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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