I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
