I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
