do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
