he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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