Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
