is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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