Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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