of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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