I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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