he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
