they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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