Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
