8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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