Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize