The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
