I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
