haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have fence marks all over my body
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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