Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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