is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
