The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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