this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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