Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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