Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
