Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
