While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize