I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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