I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
