well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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