He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
